Jokes Extraordinaire - Chuck Norris \ Your mama Corner

I think he deserves his own topic...hehe
You all heard a bunch of jokes about that pretty tough guy...



well...

Last one that i heard:

Q:How many pushups can Chuck Norris do???
A:ALL OF THEM!!!!

YEA Chuck Norrrrissss Great jokes about him... But i know only in cze language -.-

There are a lot of jokes about Chuck Norris but now jokes about your mother are more popular

what arises when chuck norris cums on a truck? -a transformer

Why does Chuck Norris sleep with the light on? not because he's scared of dark.The dark is affraid of him.

Chuck Norris played russian roulet with fully loaded gun and won.

chuck norris is the only person on the world who succeed to watch a 2 hours long movie for 20 minutes!

chuck norris is only person who can count to infinity
and he did it twice...

when C.N. makes pushpus,he doesn't push himself from earth...the earth pushes away from him

C.N. can slam the revolving door

(can't remember anymore right now)

muzzha wrote:chuck norris is only person who can count to infinity
and he did it twice...

This information is not actuall muzz, because chuck norris counted much further

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits

Chuck Norris ordered Big Mac in Burger King, he get one.

Chuck Norris always donates blood to red cross, but never he's own.

Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee, it doesn't have anything to do with his ancestors, he ate the fucking indian.

Chuck Norris can bang the revolving door

Chuck Norris sits faster than you run

Chuck Norris can drink all the water from the tap

Chuck Norris can sorrund the ten people in same time

People put pictures on C.N in their basement so there wont be any rats.

When C.N caught a fish,it granted him 4 wishes.

Since C.N figured out that tsunami is bad for the people,he stoped washing his clothes in the ocean.

C.N can aplaude with one hand.

C.N doesnt slide on ice,the ice slides on him.

The lights in discos blink from fear so C.N wont come.

On every sport match the first aplause is for Chuck Norris,then for the sports teams.

C.N leaves a present for Santa under his tree.

When C.N crosses the street,the cars looks left & right.

Alfred Nobel won Norris's nobel price.

C.N killed Ahil without touching his ankle.'

We all have mouses to operate the PC,C.N has a lion.

HAHHAHA...niiice room,omg,aplaude with one hand,cars looking left and right and alfred nobel!!!!my favourite,never heard....
sooo gooood...

I was too lazy to write more.
Will add about 20+ tomorrow.

When C.N travels by train,the conductor buys himself a ticket.

What happens when you tell C.N to check if you're outside? He goes out,he will find you out and kicks your a$$.

C.N nominated Big Brother for throwing him out of the house.

C.N acted in Titanic,he was the block of ice which Titanic hit in.

When a police officer stops C.N,he showes him id instead of C.N to him.

Why doesnt C.N go to church? He knows God's cell number.

Only C.N gave a goal between the legs in water-polo.

What happens when Bananaman eats a banana? He turns into C.N.

God on the first day created the earth,on the 2nd day he created the light,on the 3rd day he created C.N,on the 4th he got his a$$ kicked by C.N. xD

What happens when C.N jumps from 3rd floor? He goes up to 5th. xDD

C.N knows Victoria's secret(the product).

C.N doesnt drink tekilla,he eats cactus.

C.N can leave a message before the signal(when your phone is turned off).

Only C.N comes out of the water dry.

C.N can make a lemonade out of orange. xD

C.N is half an hour faster from the second. xD

Only C.N has seen Tom & Jerry's grandmother.

Only C.N wears shirt in size XXM.

Only C.N knows where is the end of the galaxy,he has been there and returned.

What's left for you when C.N shows his middle finger? 1 second of your life.

When C.N looks in the mirror nothing happens.There will never be a 2nd C.N.

Why C.N cant go to Serbia? He found out that Mile Kitic is stronger than ever(jaci nego ikad)

What does C.N need to kill 200 people? 200 people.. xD

Adam and Eve became from C.N. xD

C.N can get on the moon with a parachute. x)

Aliens exist.They only wait for C.N to die.

C.N was thrown over Hiroshima and Nagasaki instead of bombs. xD

Only C.N can live on the North Pole.

C.N killed Bruce Lee so that everyone wont doubt about his strength.

There you go!

God and C.N. played poker...
GOD: "Im investing entire universe, everything that ever existed, all matter and anti-matter, EVERYTHING!!!"
C.N.: "Raise!"

:: :: ::

At the beginning...
GOD: "Let There Be Light!!!"
C.N.: "Say Please!"

:: :: ::

Fuck C.N. when Miso Kovac has dalmatia in his eye! (dalmacija u mom oku)

btw muzz, these are not Chuck Norris jokes, so its best to rename the title of the thread to Chuck Norris FACTS!

phatprick wrote:btw muzz, these are not Chuck Norris jokes, so its best to rename the title of the thread to Chuck Norris FACTS!

HAHAHAHA...
why,did Chuck said so...

Doesnt matter, if you beat Kam, Monsta, Raisis, Karjen... Only C.N. can drive #0 on Buksa

looooooool n1.

HAHAHAHAHAAH...

C.N. can play team clan war five players against him and he beat them 5-0 in each stage

C.N. has appeared in front of Virgin Mary
(really dont know how to translate this one...correct me)

Chuck Norris can shot Cyclops between the eyes

Hahahah

hahahah

hehe, nice one uschkane

haha.. x)

Your mama is so fat she could be the eight continent. XD